Children are wonderful creatures, full of wonder and joy, but let’s be honest: they aren’t exactly society’s role models when it comes to certain social behaviors. While there are many lessons we can (and should) learn from small children, there are also a few behaviors that we’ve thankfully outgrown (hopefully). So, in the spirit of humor and self-reflection, let’s explore some social skills we should absolutely unlearn from children.

1. Throwing a Tantrum When Things Don’t Go Your Way

There’s something spectacular about a toddler’s ability to throw themselves onto the ground in protest when denied an extra cookie. While this kind of behavior is (barely) acceptable in the under-five crowd, as adults, we’re expected to handle disappointment a bit more gracefully. Next time Starbucks runs out of pumpkin spice, resist the urge to fling yourself dramatically onto the floor. No one needs to see that. Save the internal tantrum for later when you’re alone with your feelings and Netflix.

Adults should not behave like children.

2. Taking Everything Literally

Children haven’t quite mastered the art of nuance. Tell a child that it’s “raining cats and dogs,” and they might look at you with genuine concern for the welfare of those poor animals. As adults, we’ve learned that not everything should be taken at face value. Sarcasm, metaphors, and subtle cues help us navigate complex social situations. If we took everything literally, office meetings would be unbearable and every compliment might be met with confusion. “Wait, you really think I’m ‘killing it’? Should I be worried?”

3. Blurting Out Every Thought

Children have an unfiltered honesty that’s both refreshing and terrifying. They’ll tell you if they don’t like your cooking, if your haircut is “weird,” or if they just saw you pick your nose. As adults, we (mercifully) learn the art of discretion. There’s a time and a place to share your thoughts, and it’s not always “right now” or “out loud.” Holding back on that instinct to immediately share every random observation is what separates us from chaos—or, as it’s more commonly known, a kindergarten class.

4. Believing Everything Is Yours

Ever see a child in a toy store? In their minds, everything is theirs. They’ll grab toys, snacks, and basically anything within arm’s reach, under the assumption that the world exists solely for their enjoyment. As adults, we (usually) understand boundaries and the concept of ownership. Stealing someone’s stapler at work or taking your neighbor’s lawn mower is frowned upon in most civilized circles. Unlearning the toddler rule of “everything I see is mine” is essential for not becoming the office kleptomaniac.

5. Avoiding Eye Contact When Guilty

If you’ve ever asked a child, “Did you eat the last cookie?” and they immediately avoid eye contact, you’ve witnessed the world’s worst poker face. Children haven’t yet learned how to handle guilt or own up to mistakes. As adults, we learn (or should) that looking people in the eye, taking responsibility, and apologizing when necessary is key to maintaining relationships and your dignity. Plus, avoiding eye contact is a dead giveaway. If you’re going to steal the last donut at work, at least have the decency to own it.

6. Eating Like a Caveman

Children’s eating habits are, let’s say, creative. They will happily wear half of their meal on their face while casually using a fork like it’s an ancient mystery tool. As adults, we (mostly) refine our dining habits to avoid public embarrassment. Unlearning the urge to eat spaghetti with our hands is an important step toward being invited to dinner parties. And while food fights might seem fun in the cafeteria, it doesn’t fly so well in the office breakroom. Leave the caveman dining style to the actual cavemen.

7. Making Friends by Grabbing

Small children have a fascinating approach to making friends. They see a kid with a toy they like, so they just grab it. Instant friendship, right? In the adult world, this is generally known as “theft,” not “bonding.” We (hopefully) learn to form relationships through conversation, shared interests, and mutual respect, not by taking someone’s iPhone and declaring, “We’re besties now!” Unlearning the “grab-and-befriend” strategy is essential unless you want to make friends with the local police department.

8. Using Tears as Negotiation Tools

Children have a powerful weapon in their social arsenal: tears. If they want something, waterworks are a surefire way to get the attention they seek. As adults, crying every time we don’t get our way (say, during a salary negotiation) is not only ineffective, it’s awkward. Instead of resorting to tears, we learn the value of logic, persuasion, and good old-fashioned compromise. Plus, sobbing in the middle of a board meeting is generally considered a career-limiting move.

9. Demanding Instant Gratification

Patience is not a toddler’s strong suit. If they want a snack, they want it NOW. If you tell them they have to wait five minutes, it might as well be an eternity. In adulthood, mastering the art of patience is essential. Whether it’s waiting for a promotion, standing in line at the DMV, or waiting for your pizza delivery, we learn that not everything happens on demand. Unlearning the childlike impatience helps us avoid unnecessary stress and, more importantly, prevents us from becoming that person who yells at a barista because their coffee took an extra 30 seconds.

10. Random Acts of Chaos

Children, at their core, are tiny agents of chaos. They will suddenly run in circles, scream for no reason, or decide that climbing furniture is the best idea right now. As adults, we (sadly) must learn to contain these impulses. Random acts of chaos are best left to children (and maybe the occasional weekend hobby). While it might be fun to stand on your desk and proclaim yourself the ruler of the office, HR would probably disagree.

In conclusion, while children may teach us many wonderful things, they also serve as a handy reminder of behaviors we’re better off unlearning. Navigating adulthood requires more subtlety, restraint, and, let’s face it, a lot fewer public tantrums. So, let’s give a nod to our inner child, but also be grateful that we’ve (mostly) moved past these delightful social missteps. After all, it’s what separates us from chaos—or, as it’s more commonly known, a toddler birthday party.