Popularity can be a misunderstood concept—often reduced to a superficial desire for attention. But when approached with a healthy mindset, being “popular” can simply mean building meaningful connections, exuding confidence, and positively influencing those around you. Social skills play a key role in helping kids navigate friendships, express themselves, and enjoy fulfilling relationships.

image capturing children enjoying inclusive and happy social interactions in a sunny park

As a parent, you can nurture these abilities to help your child become a well-liked and respected individual, both in their peer group and beyond. Here’s how:

1. Encourage Empathy

True popularity stems from being kind and understanding. Teach your child to put themselves in others’ shoes.

  • How to practice: Encourage them to ask questions about their friends’ feelings and experiences. Role-play scenarios to help them understand different perspectives.
  • Why it works: Empathy creates deep and genuine connections, making kids more approachable and likable.

2. Teach Active Listening

Kids who are good listeners stand out because they make others feel heard and valued.

  • How to practice: During conversations, ask your child to repeat back what the other person said in their own words or nod to show understanding.
  • Why it works: Listening makes interactions less about “me” and more about “us,” fostering stronger bonds.

3. Promote Self-Confidence

Confident kids are naturally magnetic. They’re unafraid to express themselves, but they also know how to respect others.

  • How to practice: Celebrate your child’s strengths and accomplishments, no matter how small. Encourage them to try new activities and embrace failure as part of learning.
  • Why it works: Confidence allows kids to interact with peers without fear of judgment, helping them stand out in a positive way.

4. Teach Gratitude and Compliments

Gratitude and genuine compliments go a long way in fostering goodwill.

  • How to practice: Help your child notice things they appreciate about others. For instance, they might compliment a friend’s drawing or thank them for sharing their snacks.
  • Why it works: People gravitate toward those who make them feel good about themselves.

5. Model Positive Social Behaviors

Kids learn by example, so your behavior matters.

  • How to practice: Show your child how to greet people warmly, introduce themselves confidently, and handle disagreements gracefully.
  • Why it works: By seeing you navigate social interactions effectively, your child gains a blueprint for their own behavior.

6. Encourage Inclusive Friendships

Popularity isn’t about exclusivity—it’s about inclusivity. Teach your child to befriend kids of all backgrounds, personalities, and interests.

  • How to practice: Encourage group playdates and activities that involve diverse peers.
  • Why it works: Inclusivity builds a reputation for kindness and makes your child a go-to friend for everyone.

7. Limit Negative Behaviors

Being popular for the wrong reasons—like being bossy or gossiping—doesn’t lead to lasting connections.

  • How to practice: Guide your child to express frustration calmly and avoid talking negatively about others. Praise positive conflict resolution.
  • Why it works: Avoiding drama keeps your child approachable and likable.

8. Provide Opportunities for Social Interaction

Kids improve their social skills through practice.

  • How to practice: Enroll your child in team sports, art classes, or community activities where they can interact with peers.
  • Why it works: The more they practice building relationships, the more confident and socially adept they’ll become.

9. Celebrate Their Authenticity

Help your child understand that they don’t need to change who they are to be liked. Authenticity is a cornerstone of healthy popularity.

  • How to practice: Encourage your child to pursue their passions and be true to their values. Praise their individuality.
  • Why it works: People are naturally drawn to those who are comfortable being themselves.

Final Thoughts

Helping your child build social skills and form genuine connections is about empowering them to be their best selves—not molding them into someone they’re not. True popularity is about kindness, confidence, and creating value in relationships. By teaching your child these traits, you’re setting them up for a lifetime of meaningful interactions, personal growth, and a rich social life.

Popularity isn’t the end goal—it’s the byproduct of being a thoughtful, empathetic, and confident person. And that’s a lesson worth teaching.