Engineering social skills will matter no matter how artificial we become

Look, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Every time I watch my nephew order food through a kiosk without saying a word to the cashier, or see my colleague drafting emails with AI instead of picking up the phone, I wonder—are we slowly forgetting how to talk to each other?

Human connection has always been our superpower. It’s how we’ve built everything from ancient trading networks to modern companies. But I can’t shake this feeling that our new AI tools, amazing as they are, might be quietly reshaping how we interact with each other.

We’re Talking to Humans Less (And Robots More)

Remember when shopping meant chatting with the store clerk who knew your name? Now we tap through self-checkout while avoiding eye contact. Need advice? Instead of calling a friend, many of us just ask ChatGPT. Feeling down? There’s an AI therapy app for that too.

Don’t get me wrong—I use these tools myself. They’re convenient and sometimes exactly what we need. But I caught myself the other day rehearsing what to say before calling to make a doctor’s appointment, as if basic phone conversations had become this foreign skill I’d forgotten how to do naturally.

Kids Are Growing Up Different

This hits home when I think about my kids. When I was young, learning to navigate playground politics was a masterclass in social skills. We figured out how to share, compromise, read facial expressions, and handle rejection—all without an instruction manual.

Today, my daughter’s school uses personalized AI learning platforms that are genuinely impressive for teaching math and science. But what about learning to work through a group project with that kid who never pulls their weight? Or standing up for yourself when someone cuts in line? These messy human moments are irreplaceable training grounds.

I noticed her AI language tutor never gets frustrated when she makes mistakes. That’s wonderful in many ways, but it doesn’t prepare her for a world where people do get impatient sometimes, and learning to navigate that is part of life.

The Office Vibe is Changing Too

It’s happening at work as well. In my company, our performance reviews are increasingly automated—tracking metrics and generating feedback without those awkward but necessary conversations with managers. Team meetings now come with AI-generated summaries that let people skip the actual discussion.

Last month, I realized I hadn’t had a proper debate with colleagues in weeks. Everything was happening through shared documents with AI-suggested edits. Efficient? Absolutely. But I missed the creative energy that comes from hashing things out face-to-face, complete with interruptions, misunderstandings, and eventual breakthroughs.

So What Can We Actually Do About This?

I’m not suggesting we ditch our AI tools—that ship has sailed, and honestly, they make life better in countless ways. But maybe we need to be more intentional about protecting our human connections:

  1. Make Real Talk a Priority At home, we’ve started having device-free dinners where everyone actually has to make conversation. At the office, I’ve begun scheduling “walking meetings” instead of video calls when possible. Even small talk with the barista counts!

  2. Help Kids Balance Tech and Talk My daughter’s school recently added debate and community service requirements that can’t be completed with AI assistance. The kids complained at first, but watching them learn to persuade and empathize with real people has been worth it.

  3. Create Some Human-Only Spaces My local coffee shop has a “no laptop” section that’s always buzzing with actual conversations. At work, we’ve designated Wednesdays as “minimal-AI days” where we try to solve problems through human collaboration first.

  4. Keep the Human Touch in Business I’ve started asking for human customer service representatives when I can, even if it takes longer. And I make a point to thank businesses that maintain that personal touch instead of automating everything.

  5. Stay Conscious About Our Choices The most important thing might be simply paying attention. When I’m about to outsource a conversation to AI, I try to ask myself: “Is this something I should handle human-to-human?”

Finding the Balance

Look, AI isn’t evil—it’s just a really powerful tool. And like any tool, what matters is how we use it. The same way we figured out that constantly checking our phones during dinner wasn’t great for our relationships, we’ll need to establish healthy boundaries with AI.

I want my kids to grow up with all the advantages technology offers while still knowing how to look someone in the eye, read a room, handle conflict, and build real connections. I want that for all of us.

Maybe the truly human skill in the AI age will be knowing when to use technology and when to set it aside in favor of messy, inefficient, wonderful human interaction.

What do you think? Are you noticing changes in how people connect? I’d love to hear your thoughts—from you, not your AI assistant.